Broadening Perspective in a Narrowing Experience

I'm repeatedly aware of how all of these painful and difficult experiences tend to narrow my focus on an hour by hour basis in that when you are in pain you just find it difficult to be able to have a ken of a whole lot else. You, by necessity, find yourself in a fetal position either literally or figuratively. It cuts out so much of my life. My work, which, I have gained new appreciation for my love of doing. My chores around the house, which although often repetitive and unwelcome become something I appreciate being ABLE to do! My time with others which becomes SO limited during this season.

Yet, when the really difficult days ease a bit I recognize they have expanded my understanding in ways I could never have imagined.😮 I can identify with folks who suffer with ulcerative colitis, because so have I. I can identify with people with debilitating skin conditions, because so have I. I can identify with people whose appearance has been altered to deviate from cultural norms, thus making them an object of stares, because so has mine. I can identify with people who have lost their sense of taste because so have I. These and so many other narrowing or debilitating experiences have shown me a world outside of what I've always known.

It makes me aware of and sensitive to others in ways that will forever be altered. It gives me a compassion for and tenderness towards other's suffering in ways that simply outstrip my previous understanding of compassion. Is this why I am being given this opportunity for healing?

I may never know. What I do know is that as I visualize myself on the other side of this ordeal I will emerge as a newer, far more tender version of myself. That makes this cancer experience a severe mercy indeed. It also allows me to identify more closely with a God who sent His Son to suffer like we do that He might "know" and that we might identify with Him. This truly is a broadening perspective in a narrowing experience...another hummingbird sighting.