Side Effects
The accepted side effects of chemotherapy are such that it is, to me, unbelievable that these would be considered normative and within what is ok.😩. I cannot help but believe there will come a day that we look backwards, actually it's hard for me to not say it now, with the declaration that what we do to cancer patients in the name of a cure is barbaric.
Before enduring said side effects myself I had this opinion, I must confess. Because I had yet to endure them I never wished to know the details nor could I have imagined them in all their horror. I have avoided discussing in detail here but think it might be good to share some of the details to help others understand why post infusion days are so utterly devastating.
Mucositis - "The painful inflammation and ulceration of the mucous membranes lining the digestive tract, from the mouth all the way down, usually as an adverse effect of chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatment for cancer." This has been,for me, the most disorienting and disabling of side effects. 😩 In practicality this has meant a destruction of my entire sense of taste and chronic pain in my gut.
Skin sensitivity - This can take many forms but for me has manifested in dry, itchy, hypersensitive and burning skin. I also have not been able to be in the sun at all due to this. I feel like I have a mild sunburn all over, all the time.🔥😖
Neurapathy - This is damage to nerve endings, especially in hands and feet and for me, in my face and tongue, as well. This, as an artist, is the most frightening to me. I am already noticing reduced capacity of fine motor skill in my hands. Supposedly it is temporary but sometimes permanent or lasting for many years.
As previously mentioned the chemo drugs work on the fast growing cells, of which cancer is one. However collateral damage includes all rapidly dividing cells in the body which include all cells that produce fluid or mucous like the moisture in my eyes and the inside of my nose and throat. Of course that is also why the skin and GI tract are effected, and the hair follicles. All this cell destruction is why profound fatigue is so pervasive after infusions. The body is overwhelmed with healing tasks on every level.
As I move into the next round I am increasingly concerned about the long term effects on my body and asking for prayers of protection for my hands and feet and eyes and digestive system. My skin is struggling to keep up with healing and I can't help but wonder if moving forward is wise or foolish. Am I exercising caution or being a coward? Each hurdle forward is a challenge and difficult.
Lord have mercy on me.